Let me just tell you that I love deep conversations with friends. Today I reunited with one of my roommates in Uganda, which was so refreshing to just talk about the children we left behind and love so much. We started talking about success. What is success? To this country it's the "American Dream", graduating high school, going straight to college, graduating with a masters, get a high paying job, get married and have kids. Yeah it sounds great on paper, but that' s not what I would consider successful. I have this fear of going to my 10 year high school reunion, everyone is "successful" by the world's definition and then there is me. Most people my age know what they are majoring in therefore have a plan. I have no idea where I will be in 10 years or what exactly I want to do. But I know I love to travel the world and tell people about Jesus.
My definition of success is being in the middle of God's will, wherever that is. Whether that is being homeless, jobless or working a minimum wage job. If you are in the middle of God's will, that's the perfect place to be. We only get one life on earth, and then an eternity(really think about how long that is) in whichever final destination you choose (and it is a choice). This life, this miniscule existence that we have on this planet, affects our eternity. I have a feeling lots of people are going to reach the end of their life, and when God asks what they did with it, they name off worldly success, but God doesn't care about that. When you start to have an eternal perspective on life, the world's definition doesn't make sense. I want to be successful, but not how most people think of success. I want to live for Christ and use every second of this life to glorify Him. When God asks me what I did on this earth with my knowledge of Him, I want to answer truthfully: "Everything I possibly could!" If telling people about Christ and glorifying Him is all that matters in the end, then I don't care about anything else. What is your definition of success?
Lauren
A little blog on redemption, through faith, life and creating.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Struggle
I've been on American turf for about 21 days and I just can't keep what I want to say inside any longer. Every day someone asks me, "Are you glad to be home,do you wish you were back there?" I can't help but answer "ABSOLUTELY" to that, to both, I don't know. I love being home and seeing family and having everything I want and need at my fingertips, but I ache when I think of Uganda and what I left behind. Kids crying telling me not to go. How can I be fully content here and but have my heart seven thousand miles away? When I came home last year, it was a shock to adjust but I got over it. This time is much harder. One of my biggest struggles is finding God here again. He's here, I know He is, but He feels so much more tangible when you are desperate for Him. In America, we have everything we want and everything we need, so who needs God? That's how America is becoming. But in Uganda, they have nothing and so they want ALL of God. I need to get back to that state of desperation. Though finding desperation here is hard, it's doable.
My emotions are so conflicting and it's like I am on a roller coaster. I am so glad to be home, but I want to be back there. And when I am back there, I miss home. Why? Because this world is not my home and I keep trying to find a state of contentment somewhere on this earth, but everywhere you go, everything you do, becomes a routine, and it is never enough. I am starting to get back to my old routine before I left and it's almost been destroying me. I don't want routine. I hate routine. Being a missionary is messy. And hard. And depressing. And so worth it. My biggest obstacle I am facing now that I am finally working again, is that God can use me here. Here in the everyday normalcy of my routine life, just like He did in the heart of Africa. He is the same God He is there as He is here. Unfortunately we don't get to see as much of Him because people are so independent and want nothing to do with Him and have no need for Him here like they do there.
So, how do I use what I learned from Him there, here. How do I get through my routine lifestyle being in America when I've seen God firsthand perform a healing in the depths of a village in Africa? How am I going to let that affect the way I live in America? That is my second biggest obstacle. Everyday remembering what He has done before and asking myself, "Ok, so now what?" How do I let that change my life everyday? If someone has these answers, please inform me. I am struggling.
Lauren
My emotions are so conflicting and it's like I am on a roller coaster. I am so glad to be home, but I want to be back there. And when I am back there, I miss home. Why? Because this world is not my home and I keep trying to find a state of contentment somewhere on this earth, but everywhere you go, everything you do, becomes a routine, and it is never enough. I am starting to get back to my old routine before I left and it's almost been destroying me. I don't want routine. I hate routine. Being a missionary is messy. And hard. And depressing. And so worth it. My biggest obstacle I am facing now that I am finally working again, is that God can use me here. Here in the everyday normalcy of my routine life, just like He did in the heart of Africa. He is the same God He is there as He is here. Unfortunately we don't get to see as much of Him because people are so independent and want nothing to do with Him and have no need for Him here like they do there.
So, how do I use what I learned from Him there, here. How do I get through my routine lifestyle being in America when I've seen God firsthand perform a healing in the depths of a village in Africa? How am I going to let that affect the way I live in America? That is my second biggest obstacle. Everyday remembering what He has done before and asking myself, "Ok, so now what?" How do I let that change my life everyday? If someone has these answers, please inform me. I am struggling.
Lauren
Monday, October 15, 2012
Set Free
Set free: Verb; liberate: grant freedom to
In order to be set free, one must first be bound to something that they themselves cannot get out of. Second Peter 2:19 says, "For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him." Most people are slaves to sin without even knowing it. Frankly, if you are not a slave to Christ, then you are a slave to sin. Jesus says that the truth will set you free. If Jesus is truth, which He says He is in John 14:6, then Jesus Himself sets us free. Ironically we find freedom in Christ when we become His slave. Most people might think that Christianity is all about freedom, which is it, but we first must become slaves to the One who is freedom. When we think of slaves, we think of someone who is treated unfairly, abused, alone. In reality, the term slave means that you are not your own, someone else owns you, you have a master. Following Christ and being a Christian is the latter of the two. I am not my own, I have a Master, I am a slave. You either unconsciously choose slavery to sin or consciously choose slavery to Christ.
Paul is a perfect example of a slave of Christ. He knew he was not his own, he constantly found himself in prison because of Christ. Paul says in Ephesians 3:1, "For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles-". Paul is in a Roman prison, yet knows full well that he is not a prisoner of the Romans but of Christ. Following Christ is also daily dying to ourselves, it's everyday saying, "I give up. Take control." We are told in Luke 9:23, "Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Me." We are told to carry our own crosses, our own desires. There is absolutely, no matter how you try it, an easy way to carry a cross. It's giving up control, dying to yourself. Come and die sort of thing. THAT is Christianity. Asking Christ to set you free from the chains of sin and to be bound to Him.
He sets the captives free, even if you are oblivious to your captivity. It is only through becoming a slave of Christ that we finally find freedom. I am a slave of Jesus Christ, not my own, I have no control over my life, He is my Master.
Lauren
In order to be set free, one must first be bound to something that they themselves cannot get out of. Second Peter 2:19 says, "For a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him." Most people are slaves to sin without even knowing it. Frankly, if you are not a slave to Christ, then you are a slave to sin. Jesus says that the truth will set you free. If Jesus is truth, which He says He is in John 14:6, then Jesus Himself sets us free. Ironically we find freedom in Christ when we become His slave. Most people might think that Christianity is all about freedom, which is it, but we first must become slaves to the One who is freedom. When we think of slaves, we think of someone who is treated unfairly, abused, alone. In reality, the term slave means that you are not your own, someone else owns you, you have a master. Following Christ and being a Christian is the latter of the two. I am not my own, I have a Master, I am a slave. You either unconsciously choose slavery to sin or consciously choose slavery to Christ.
Paul is a perfect example of a slave of Christ. He knew he was not his own, he constantly found himself in prison because of Christ. Paul says in Ephesians 3:1, "For this reason I, Paul, the prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of you Gentiles-". Paul is in a Roman prison, yet knows full well that he is not a prisoner of the Romans but of Christ. Following Christ is also daily dying to ourselves, it's everyday saying, "I give up. Take control." We are told in Luke 9:23, "Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Me." We are told to carry our own crosses, our own desires. There is absolutely, no matter how you try it, an easy way to carry a cross. It's giving up control, dying to yourself. Come and die sort of thing. THAT is Christianity. Asking Christ to set you free from the chains of sin and to be bound to Him.
He sets the captives free, even if you are oblivious to your captivity. It is only through becoming a slave of Christ that we finally find freedom. I am a slave of Jesus Christ, not my own, I have no control over my life, He is my Master.
Lauren
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Lately..
For the past four weeks we have been in the city, due to safety and other reasons. Though different than spending three days a week in the village, we have been able to do some new things. We have been going to lots of primary and secondary schools and every Thursday we have had the privilege of teaching English to primary school students. Most of us, including me, have our own classroom. I have P5, which is between 11-13 year olds. The school system here is completely different than in America. The children here have to pay to attend school. It is almost like a "pay as you go" concept. There are three terms in a school year and each term cost around $25-$50. Kids who cannot afford a term, don't go for that term and if they have money for the next term, than they can go.
I loosely use the term "classroom" because it is nothing like an American school's classroom. Their classrooms are small, have a tin roof and siding of some wood,cardboard and anything else that can fill holes. The classrooms are dark, dirty and so close together and only separated by cardboard and wood that I have to yell over the other classrooms for my students to hear me. But I absolutely love it. Even when it's raining and I am writing on the chalk board and I am getting wet, I love it. I have about 12 kids in my class who are so eager to learn. They do not take education for granted because they have to pay their way through. When I enter the classroom they all stand until I tell them that they may be seated and when they ask a question they stand. They are so polite and well behaved. I have been teaching them elements of a story, comprehension, sentence structures, adverbs, and parts of a car (random right?). Today was my last time teaching them because next week they are having an exam on everything they have learned these past four weeks, and then I leave that Saturday night.
I can't believe I only have 9 days left here. From here I am going to California to visit friends for 5 days and then I will finally be home. I am so torn. I want to stay, but then again I want to come home. It's really hard to have your heart in 2 different places.
I loosely use the term "classroom" because it is nothing like an American school's classroom. Their classrooms are small, have a tin roof and siding of some wood,cardboard and anything else that can fill holes. The classrooms are dark, dirty and so close together and only separated by cardboard and wood that I have to yell over the other classrooms for my students to hear me. But I absolutely love it. Even when it's raining and I am writing on the chalk board and I am getting wet, I love it. I have about 12 kids in my class who are so eager to learn. They do not take education for granted because they have to pay their way through. When I enter the classroom they all stand until I tell them that they may be seated and when they ask a question they stand. They are so polite and well behaved. I have been teaching them elements of a story, comprehension, sentence structures, adverbs, and parts of a car (random right?). Today was my last time teaching them because next week they are having an exam on everything they have learned these past four weeks, and then I leave that Saturday night.
I can't believe I only have 9 days left here. From here I am going to California to visit friends for 5 days and then I will finally be home. I am so torn. I want to stay, but then again I want to come home. It's really hard to have your heart in 2 different places.
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| The science teacher teaching my class |
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| My class! |
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| What I teach from |
Thursday, October 4, 2012
All In
Two and a half weeks. 16 days to be exact, until I leave this amazing country. These past ten weeks have been incredible. Even though I am working with the same organization, this trip was so different. God has taught me some tough lessons. One of them being that I cannot do what I am doing on my own strength. At all. Not even a little bit. One of the many, and I mean many, books I read during these last 10 weeks was Secondhand Jesus by Glenn Packiam . Here is a quote from the book:
"Regardless of our culture, story, or religion, there seems to be something in all of us that makes us want to be better people. If goodness is the common goal of religion, then progress is the common pursuit of humanity. Every new year is a new chance to renew our vows to lose weight, spend more time with our families, go to church more regularly, give more money to good causes, and watch less TV. That is not a bad impulse. It probably is some evidence of the imago Dei in us. We are made in God’s image and want to do Godlike things. The problem comes not in desiring to do such things but in believing that we are capable of those things."
What he talks about in his book is that it is impossible for us to do any good apart from Christ. We may desire those things, but unless we are dependent on Christ, nothing we do is "good". Even doing mission work in Africa. I realized that I was starting to become weary and just burnt out, going through the motions when it hit me. I have been doing this on my own. That is why I am so exhausted and worn out. Us girls just got done studying the book of Galatians. Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, f if we do not give up." I was becoming weary and it definitely affected my attitude and outlook. A popular misconception is that out in the mission field, your relationship with God is at it's best. That can be true, however for me it is a constant struggle to keep up with my end of the relationship. Satan is continually throwing things at me that get me distracted and keep my eyes off of Christ. The best and worst times in my relationship with Him have been when I am in the mission field. You are either fully dependent, or thinking you are capable of this on your own. Either all in, or nothing at all. There is no in between.
If there is anything that I can't stress enough, it is that if you are a follower of Christ than you need to be all in. Completely dependent. Sold out Jesus freak. Whatever your word for it is. I will post another blog in a few days of what I have been doing lately, but for now I just wanted to be honest with you guys and let you know what challenges I have been facing and overcoming while here.
Lauren
"Regardless of our culture, story, or religion, there seems to be something in all of us that makes us want to be better people. If goodness is the common goal of religion, then progress is the common pursuit of humanity. Every new year is a new chance to renew our vows to lose weight, spend more time with our families, go to church more regularly, give more money to good causes, and watch less TV. That is not a bad impulse. It probably is some evidence of the imago Dei in us. We are made in God’s image and want to do Godlike things. The problem comes not in desiring to do such things but in believing that we are capable of those things."
What he talks about in his book is that it is impossible for us to do any good apart from Christ. We may desire those things, but unless we are dependent on Christ, nothing we do is "good". Even doing mission work in Africa. I realized that I was starting to become weary and just burnt out, going through the motions when it hit me. I have been doing this on my own. That is why I am so exhausted and worn out. Us girls just got done studying the book of Galatians. Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, f if we do not give up." I was becoming weary and it definitely affected my attitude and outlook. A popular misconception is that out in the mission field, your relationship with God is at it's best. That can be true, however for me it is a constant struggle to keep up with my end of the relationship. Satan is continually throwing things at me that get me distracted and keep my eyes off of Christ. The best and worst times in my relationship with Him have been when I am in the mission field. You are either fully dependent, or thinking you are capable of this on your own. Either all in, or nothing at all. There is no in between.
If there is anything that I can't stress enough, it is that if you are a follower of Christ than you need to be all in. Completely dependent. Sold out Jesus freak. Whatever your word for it is. I will post another blog in a few days of what I have been doing lately, but for now I just wanted to be honest with you guys and let you know what challenges I have been facing and overcoming while here.
Lauren
Sunday, September 9, 2012
The Miracle
They led us into her "house" telling us that she was ill and we needed to pray for her. So we gathered around her in the small mud bricked home, the only light streaming in by the cracks in the walls and the open door, so that we all could fit in. Dirt floors and a small fire burning in the corner. She's sitting on the floor while we are all in wood chairs.
Her name is Mary. She is old. She told us she doesn't know how old she is anymore.With her scared look and sunken in eyes, she introduced herself and told us a little about her. Every Sunday Mary walks the two and a half mile walk to church. Except that the last few months she has been absent because she has a condition in which her legs are double the size they are supposed to be and it is extremely painful. She said she is believer in Christ. She has been to many doctors who say there is nothing they can do, that maybe if she went to a witch doctor, she could be healed, she refused. She told us she has been praying for someone to come and pray with her before she dies, because she believes she will die soon. God immediately brought Psalm 118:17 to my mind. It reads,"I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done." I read this to her knowing that God meant He was going to heal her. We got down on our knees and placed hands on her legs. With complete faith, I prayed that God would heal her so that she could proclaim what He would do. I told God last night that I expect to see her at church tomorrow. He did not disappoint.
Two days later, Sunday, today, I was busy with the kids but I looked up in time to see her walking down that red dirt road on the way to church in her Sunday dress. I ran and hugged her, there was nothing to say, I was just in awe of God. The day we prayed for her, I asked her if she had a Bible and if she could read. She said no to both. But that her grand kids could read to her. I was able to get a Bible to her in Luganda.
These past few months, God has been teaching me how important it is to pray in absolute faith. He was preparing me for this.
He is Healer, He is Redeemer.
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Lauren
Her name is Mary. She is old. She told us she doesn't know how old she is anymore.With her scared look and sunken in eyes, she introduced herself and told us a little about her. Every Sunday Mary walks the two and a half mile walk to church. Except that the last few months she has been absent because she has a condition in which her legs are double the size they are supposed to be and it is extremely painful. She said she is believer in Christ. She has been to many doctors who say there is nothing they can do, that maybe if she went to a witch doctor, she could be healed, she refused. She told us she has been praying for someone to come and pray with her before she dies, because she believes she will die soon. God immediately brought Psalm 118:17 to my mind. It reads,"I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done." I read this to her knowing that God meant He was going to heal her. We got down on our knees and placed hands on her legs. With complete faith, I prayed that God would heal her so that she could proclaim what He would do. I told God last night that I expect to see her at church tomorrow. He did not disappoint.
Two days later, Sunday, today, I was busy with the kids but I looked up in time to see her walking down that red dirt road on the way to church in her Sunday dress. I ran and hugged her, there was nothing to say, I was just in awe of God. The day we prayed for her, I asked her if she had a Bible and if she could read. She said no to both. But that her grand kids could read to her. I was able to get a Bible to her in Luganda.
These past few months, God has been teaching me how important it is to pray in absolute faith. He was preparing me for this.
He is Healer, He is Redeemer.
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
Lauren
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| Mary on the left and Misidiana(her neighbor) on the right |
Saturday, August 25, 2012
The Cost
How much am I willing to give up for Jesus?
Yesterday we visited Katie Davis' ministry: Amazima. It got me thinking about that question. She gave up her entire comfortable and familiar life for Him. Am I willing to do the same? In the Gospel's, Jesus went up to Matthew and just said, "Follow Me." Matthew immediately got up and followed Him. Jesus told Peter and Andrew to follow Him, and they dropped their nets and followed Him. They left a very well paying business to follow Christ. When Jesus called Levi, Jesus again went up to him and said ,"Follow Me." So Levi got up and followed Him. If they can easily get up,desert everything they know, then so can I.
This picture is brought to life when we are in the village. The way to gather the children for the program is to simply walk a mile from our campsite to the main part of the village. As we walk down the red dirt road, lined with mud hutts, we hear the familiar voices of kids screaming, "mzungu!!" In which we reply, "Jangu!" (come). They drop everything and come running from their hutts to hug us and grab an available hand. The farther we walk down the road, the more kids we acquire until we reach our destination with a parade of kids following us. Why do they drop what they're doing to follow us? Because they have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Our faith needs to look like this. This world should offer us nothing, so that when Jesus says, "Come, follow Me", we drop everything, run to Him, and follow Him. To this world, the cost of following Christ looks large, but the reward is even greater! As Katie Davis says in her book, "I believe that nothing is a sacrifice in light of eternity with Christ."
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for Whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him." Philippians 3:7-9
Lauren
Yesterday we visited Katie Davis' ministry: Amazima. It got me thinking about that question. She gave up her entire comfortable and familiar life for Him. Am I willing to do the same? In the Gospel's, Jesus went up to Matthew and just said, "Follow Me." Matthew immediately got up and followed Him. Jesus told Peter and Andrew to follow Him, and they dropped their nets and followed Him. They left a very well paying business to follow Christ. When Jesus called Levi, Jesus again went up to him and said ,"Follow Me." So Levi got up and followed Him. If they can easily get up,desert everything they know, then so can I.
This picture is brought to life when we are in the village. The way to gather the children for the program is to simply walk a mile from our campsite to the main part of the village. As we walk down the red dirt road, lined with mud hutts, we hear the familiar voices of kids screaming, "mzungu!!" In which we reply, "Jangu!" (come). They drop everything and come running from their hutts to hug us and grab an available hand. The farther we walk down the road, the more kids we acquire until we reach our destination with a parade of kids following us. Why do they drop what they're doing to follow us? Because they have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Our faith needs to look like this. This world should offer us nothing, so that when Jesus says, "Come, follow Me", we drop everything, run to Him, and follow Him. To this world, the cost of following Christ looks large, but the reward is even greater! As Katie Davis says in her book, "I believe that nothing is a sacrifice in light of eternity with Christ."
"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for Whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him." Philippians 3:7-9
Lauren
Monday, August 20, 2012
Worship
As I sit here on top of a mountain that overlooks hundreds of miles of Uganda, one of the most breathtaking views I have ever seen, I can't help but be in awe of the God who created this. The God who created this created me, loves me, and sent His Son to die for me. Wow!
I can hear a large stream close by and the deep rumble of it's waterfall making itself known. Thunder is growling from afar and I can see rain clouds watering the earth below. The cool breeze is blowing the freshest air I have ever inhaled.
It's a reminder that creation is constantly worshiping it's Creator. So why aren't we? This week we taught the kids about worship. The word "worship" in Luganda is translated as "singing". Yes that is a way to worship God, but it is not the only way. This is what we wanted to teach the kids. Worship can be anything that brings glory to God. We wanted them to know that they can worship God through their talents including: art, dancing, singing, sports, cooking, drama etc.
Worshiping God has an effect on those around us. Us missionaries had a worship night last week, where we turned off the lights and sang. Jesus was among us. The next day our gate keeper came up to one of the MST'S (Ministry support team) and uttered the most beautiful question, "Who is this Jesus and His love, that you sing about?" We never know who we are introducing Jesus to when we just do what we were created for, worshiping the God of the universe. We are all created to worship God, yet humanity has turned from Him. How can nature do what it was created to do, but we as intelligent humans can't seem to grasp it? Does nature know something that we don't? I think we need to take some lessons from creation.
I can hear a large stream close by and the deep rumble of it's waterfall making itself known. Thunder is growling from afar and I can see rain clouds watering the earth below. The cool breeze is blowing the freshest air I have ever inhaled.
It's a reminder that creation is constantly worshiping it's Creator. So why aren't we? This week we taught the kids about worship. The word "worship" in Luganda is translated as "singing". Yes that is a way to worship God, but it is not the only way. This is what we wanted to teach the kids. Worship can be anything that brings glory to God. We wanted them to know that they can worship God through their talents including: art, dancing, singing, sports, cooking, drama etc.
Worshiping God has an effect on those around us. Us missionaries had a worship night last week, where we turned off the lights and sang. Jesus was among us. The next day our gate keeper came up to one of the MST'S (Ministry support team) and uttered the most beautiful question, "Who is this Jesus and His love, that you sing about?" We never know who we are introducing Jesus to when we just do what we were created for, worshiping the God of the universe. We are all created to worship God, yet humanity has turned from Him. How can nature do what it was created to do, but we as intelligent humans can't seem to grasp it? Does nature know something that we don't? I think we need to take some lessons from creation.
"Praise the Lord from the heavens;
praise him in the heights above.
praise him in the heights above.
Praise him, all his angels;
praise him, all his heavenly hosts.
praise him, all his heavenly hosts.
Praise him, sun and moon;
praise him, all you shining stars.
praise him, all you shining stars.
Praise him, you highest heavens
and you waters above the skies.
and you waters above the skies.
Let them praise the name of the Lord,
for at his command they were created
for at his command they were created
and he established them for ever and ever—
he issued a decree that will never pass away.
he issued a decree that will never pass away.
Praise the Lord from the earth,
you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,
you great sea creatures and all ocean depths,
lightning and hail, snow and clouds,
stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills,
fruit trees and all cedars,
stormy winds that do his bidding, you mountains and all hills,
fruit trees and all cedars,
wild animals and all cattle,
small creatures and flying birds,
small creatures and flying birds,
kings of the earth and all nations,
you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and women,
old men and children.
you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and women,
old men and children.
Let them praise the name of the Lord,
for his name alone is exalted;
his splendor is above the earth and the heavens." Psalm 148:-13
for his name alone is exalted;
his splendor is above the earth and the heavens." Psalm 148:-13
Lauren
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| "Deep calls to deep, in the roar of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and breakers have swept over me." Psalm 42:7 |
Monday, July 30, 2012
Favorite
If someone were to ask me what my favorite part of Uganda was, my answer wouldn't be the culture or the children, however the children are a close second. My favorite part is when all of us missionaries are in the living room with just a guitar and a bongo drum and all 20 of our voices praising Jesus with everything we have. We are continually being poured out. Pouring all of our love out to the children. When all of us come together at the end of the day to worship the One we dropped everything for is by far my favorite part. All of us hungry and desperate for God's presence. I know some will say, "you can worship God at home, why isn't your favorite part working with the African children"? There is just something about a group of college aged believers who come from different backgrounds and different countries to come together and worship our Savior. We are all away from the comforts of home for different amounts of time, but we are all in this together. Hands raised, voices singing at their limit ad God's presence. We are all family, and that is my favorite part of this experience.
"But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him." John 4:23
Lauren
"But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him." John 4:23
Lauren
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Stained Red
I sit here completely exhausted. For the last 3 days we have been camping in the village building mud huts for an elderly woman and the pastor of the church the organization is building. We woke up every morning to a rooster, and other farm animals that wonder around the open field we camp in. To make the mud huts, we have to first make mud which requires lugging water in jerry cans a half mile from a spring. The next step is to pour the water in the red dirt and stomp around. We had about 4 people stomping, me included. You then have to get the mud out and slap it again the older mud walls. Hard work. To say I am sore is an understatement. To get back to the house after the 3 days was amazing. To take a luke warm shower with the water pressure of a lightrain was amazing. The village really makes you realize what you have. My hands and feet are stained red despite the shower and harsh scrubbing. I am stained red from the red dirt of Uganda, but also stained red by the blood of Christ. Fortunately, the blood of Christ will never wear off whereas eventually Uganda will come off my skin.
Every time I go on mission trips or am raising money for a mission trip, people praise me for the work I am doing and am going to do. How much courage I have, etc. But I hate that. We as Christians are all called to be missionaries. Some just ignore the calling, and I shouldn't be praised because I listen. I am only aware of how small I am, and how HUGE my God is, that draws me to follow Him. Do you realize how BIG He is? If we all really believed what we believed, where would God lead you?
Lauren
Every time I go on mission trips or am raising money for a mission trip, people praise me for the work I am doing and am going to do. How much courage I have, etc. But I hate that. We as Christians are all called to be missionaries. Some just ignore the calling, and I shouldn't be praised because I listen. I am only aware of how small I am, and how HUGE my God is, that draws me to follow Him. Do you realize how BIG He is? If we all really believed what we believed, where would God lead you?
Lauren
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Thailand!
Taken from my journal:
Day 1:
Got in around 2 am I believe, and was up and ready for church that morning at 9am! Our group of 5 from Calvary met up with a family of 4 from Kansas, we also had some Calvary members who have been living in Thailand meet up with us. We then went to lunch to brief. I had my first real Thai meal and was a little worried about that because I cannot eat spicy food, but they have a variety of foods that aren't. A few of the team went to the BSC (Baptist Student Center) to have a banquet but I opted out for sleep. I slept for 11 hours that night.
Day 2:
Woke up at 4 am to go to a prison about 2 and a half hours away from Bangkok. The countryside reminded me of Uganda's countryside. When we got there we had a program for them. We sand and taught them some hand movements to a song, Josh and Meghan shared their testimonies and then Ray preached. When the program ended and the Thai missionary helping, asked who wanted to accept Jesus, every hand was lifted in the air. God is so good. We then had lunch at this ridiculous restaurant called Chockchai. It was all out American western themed, it was pretty hilarious. We then went to the BSC and just had conversations with some students who are learning English. Meghan and I presented the gospel to a guy who said he was an atheist and believed all religions, but liked Christianity the most. I also talked to a girl who is now a good friend of mine.
Day 3:
Great day to say the least! We went to another mens prison for drug addictions. I shared my testimony which I practiced over and over in my head, and somehow, spoke it just like I planed all thanks to God! I was terrified because I HATE standing in front of people, let alone speaking, but I did it and I thought it went very well. Ray preached and was just lit on fire by the Holy Spirit! Everyone was listening and looked interested and at the end when asked who wanted to accept Jesus, again every hand was raised. We then went to the BSC later that day and I got to speak to a few people for a long time.
Day 4:
Started the day off wrong. We weren't needed at the BSC until 10:30am, so we had some free time, meaning we could sleep in a little. Everyone thought we would wake up naturally, go downstairs and eat, relax and then go. We couldn't have been more wrong. Us 3 girls woke up to Josh knocking on our door and saying when we were leaving because it was 9:40! So we got ready, missed breakfast, and rushed out the door. We went to a BSC staff meeting which was amazing. We had lunch there and then went on a mini tour of the city, thanks to Meghan. We went to a large shrine of some god. Very eery, though it was mid day, hot and extremely sunny, it was dark and ominous. The statue was beautiful, but it was made by human hands. Many people were bowing down, giving sacrifices, and lighting insence. Very sad and disturbing. Why worship and pray to something that is dead, statue, stone? My God is ALIVE!
Day 5:
Went to the IDC (Immigration detention center). These people have overstayed their visas and so they get locked up until they can get a plane ticket home, though some do not want to leave because their country is too dangerous. I got paired with a woman named Mythilly. She is from Sri Lanka. It is hard to talk to the people because you are behind a fence and then there is a walkway and then they are behind another fence. It's also very loud because so many people are there on either side of the fence talking at once. The woman I got paired with has 2 kids, a girl, 10 years old and a boy, 14 years old. They are both in there with her. Their father was once with them at the IDC and got out and went back to their country to get bail for his family, but the government murdered him and send a picture of his deceased body to the family.That was about 4 months ago. They have been in there for about a year and a half. They plan on getting out soon and going to New Zealand. I then walked over to a tall German woman who was on my side of the fence. She was singing to a few people on the other side. Shew as singing the song in Thai but I recognized it immediately. It's a beautiful worship song. A man and wife were listening, the wife was crying and the husband was wiping her tears. It was a beautiful moment full of peace yet desperation for God. I had to bite my lip so that I wouldn't start balling. At night we went to a bible study at a restaurant owned by one of Thailand's celebrities. She's a Christian and so she hosts a bible study there. There were apparently other famous Thais among us, but I wouldn't know.
Day 6:
Today was a more relaxing day. We went to Baiyoke Tower which is the tallest tower in Thailand. We had lunch at a restaurant at the top of the tower. Food was alright but the view was incredible. We then went to the VERY top which revolved so you can see the whole city. We were able to see for miles, the visibility was excellent. That night we had Friday Night Life, which is a night where Thai students can come and get some practice speaking English, by playing games that revolved around us Americans and singing worship songs. Oh, we also had buffets for breakfast, lunch and dinner..
Day 7:
One week! I cannot believe it has already been a week, then again it feels like it has already been 2 weeks. Today we went to Ampawa, a town about an hour and a half outside of Bangkok. We went to a meeting place where they were discussing ideas of planting a church. We talked, sang songs, a guy preached and then we went to lunch, where I had to go to the bathroom SO bad. It was a sketch place but they DID have a toilet, however it was disgusting. Dirty bathrooms and showers are one of my biggest fears in third world countries. God sure does have a sense of humor and I made sure to tell Him when I was attempting to use it. We then went to floating market which was really cool. Meghan and I happened upon a cage of 2 beagle puppies for sale. We instantly fell in love. We held them for about 20 minutes. If I lived here, I would definitely be taking home every dog I found. There is a ton. We then had dinner and later that night Meghan and I got full body massages. Haha, they were so cheap, but it got awkward!
Day 8:
Today was our day off! We went to church, Josh preached an awesome message about unity in the body of Christ. Then we went to JJ market which was awesome. Lots of walking. We went to another part of town to get something. We ended up finding a street vendor that sold fried chicken. It was a pretty funny sight, 4 Americans squeezed onto a cement platform eating friend chicken like it was going out of style. Us girls then went and got a foot massage which was AMAZING! Thailand has the BEST and cheapest massage places.
Day 9:
Today was amazing to say the least. We went to the womens prison. Meghan was to preach. She stayed up late preparing a sermon but by morning, she was unsure. We picked up the prison ministry team. While we were waiting for them Meghan went away to pray and came back later saying she wasn't preaching her prepared sermon, God told her no, and gave her the word "Healer". She said even though she had nothing prepared, she had a peace. On the way there we looked up verses that went along with God being a Healer. I then decided I needed to share something at the prison. Pat asked me earlier if I wanted to share something and I said no. Suddenly while finding verses with Meghan, I felt God telling me to speak to them. In the car ride there, one of the prison ministry volunteers briefed us on what to expect, saying many of the women were Christians. After she briefed us Meghan turned to me and said, "Lauren, God just told me 'These are My people' before Teewan told us that." I got goose bumps to say the least.While Meghan was preaching she got choked up and started to cry while explaining to the girls how much God actually loved them. She said He was screaming in her ear to tell them HOW MUCH He did. Many of the girls were crying by the end. God's presence was so evident, it was amazing. Only my God can bring prisoners to tears!
Day 10:
Today we went to the boys JDC, we performed a skit which I think went pretty well. Don't know if the boys understood that you cannot serve both Jesus and Buddha. They believe that all religions are the same and that Jesus was just a good guy. Many buddhists believe that.
Day 11:
Today we went and visited Rahab Ministries. The street is was on was littered with trashy bars and even worse were the bar names. We visited with them and was briefed on the ministry. We then made jewelry with some of them. When we left we prayer walked down the street they are on, which is the red light district of Thailand. So much sin is there and that ministry is right in the middle of it. It was a great example that us Christians need to be light in the midst of darknes.
Day 12:
Our last day :( We ended it well. We went to the IDC in the morning. God laid it on my heart the week before to sing worship songs with and for the prisoners. Everyone was kind of iffy about it but we decided we would do one song. When we got in, I decided we probably weren't going to sing because it was so loud and everyone was busy. Halfway through, someone started singing and then we all joined and sang joyful worship songs. Prisoners were crying and dancing. So many of us were singing that a lot of the prisoners started singing and leading some songs. It got so loud that the prison guard came over and told us we had to stop. The joy on their faces was unmistakeable. Jesus was amongst us and everyone could feel Him. It was truly amazing. Now I am on this African airline, it's dingy and outdated, I'm a little terrified but cannot wait to be back in Uganda!
Day 1:
Got in around 2 am I believe, and was up and ready for church that morning at 9am! Our group of 5 from Calvary met up with a family of 4 from Kansas, we also had some Calvary members who have been living in Thailand meet up with us. We then went to lunch to brief. I had my first real Thai meal and was a little worried about that because I cannot eat spicy food, but they have a variety of foods that aren't. A few of the team went to the BSC (Baptist Student Center) to have a banquet but I opted out for sleep. I slept for 11 hours that night.
Day 2:
Woke up at 4 am to go to a prison about 2 and a half hours away from Bangkok. The countryside reminded me of Uganda's countryside. When we got there we had a program for them. We sand and taught them some hand movements to a song, Josh and Meghan shared their testimonies and then Ray preached. When the program ended and the Thai missionary helping, asked who wanted to accept Jesus, every hand was lifted in the air. God is so good. We then had lunch at this ridiculous restaurant called Chockchai. It was all out American western themed, it was pretty hilarious. We then went to the BSC and just had conversations with some students who are learning English. Meghan and I presented the gospel to a guy who said he was an atheist and believed all religions, but liked Christianity the most. I also talked to a girl who is now a good friend of mine.
Day 3:
Great day to say the least! We went to another mens prison for drug addictions. I shared my testimony which I practiced over and over in my head, and somehow, spoke it just like I planed all thanks to God! I was terrified because I HATE standing in front of people, let alone speaking, but I did it and I thought it went very well. Ray preached and was just lit on fire by the Holy Spirit! Everyone was listening and looked interested and at the end when asked who wanted to accept Jesus, again every hand was raised. We then went to the BSC later that day and I got to speak to a few people for a long time.
Day 4:
Started the day off wrong. We weren't needed at the BSC until 10:30am, so we had some free time, meaning we could sleep in a little. Everyone thought we would wake up naturally, go downstairs and eat, relax and then go. We couldn't have been more wrong. Us 3 girls woke up to Josh knocking on our door and saying when we were leaving because it was 9:40! So we got ready, missed breakfast, and rushed out the door. We went to a BSC staff meeting which was amazing. We had lunch there and then went on a mini tour of the city, thanks to Meghan. We went to a large shrine of some god. Very eery, though it was mid day, hot and extremely sunny, it was dark and ominous. The statue was beautiful, but it was made by human hands. Many people were bowing down, giving sacrifices, and lighting insence. Very sad and disturbing. Why worship and pray to something that is dead, statue, stone? My God is ALIVE!
Day 5:
Went to the IDC (Immigration detention center). These people have overstayed their visas and so they get locked up until they can get a plane ticket home, though some do not want to leave because their country is too dangerous. I got paired with a woman named Mythilly. She is from Sri Lanka. It is hard to talk to the people because you are behind a fence and then there is a walkway and then they are behind another fence. It's also very loud because so many people are there on either side of the fence talking at once. The woman I got paired with has 2 kids, a girl, 10 years old and a boy, 14 years old. They are both in there with her. Their father was once with them at the IDC and got out and went back to their country to get bail for his family, but the government murdered him and send a picture of his deceased body to the family.That was about 4 months ago. They have been in there for about a year and a half. They plan on getting out soon and going to New Zealand. I then walked over to a tall German woman who was on my side of the fence. She was singing to a few people on the other side. Shew as singing the song in Thai but I recognized it immediately. It's a beautiful worship song. A man and wife were listening, the wife was crying and the husband was wiping her tears. It was a beautiful moment full of peace yet desperation for God. I had to bite my lip so that I wouldn't start balling. At night we went to a bible study at a restaurant owned by one of Thailand's celebrities. She's a Christian and so she hosts a bible study there. There were apparently other famous Thais among us, but I wouldn't know.
Day 6:
Today was a more relaxing day. We went to Baiyoke Tower which is the tallest tower in Thailand. We had lunch at a restaurant at the top of the tower. Food was alright but the view was incredible. We then went to the VERY top which revolved so you can see the whole city. We were able to see for miles, the visibility was excellent. That night we had Friday Night Life, which is a night where Thai students can come and get some practice speaking English, by playing games that revolved around us Americans and singing worship songs. Oh, we also had buffets for breakfast, lunch and dinner..
Day 7:
One week! I cannot believe it has already been a week, then again it feels like it has already been 2 weeks. Today we went to Ampawa, a town about an hour and a half outside of Bangkok. We went to a meeting place where they were discussing ideas of planting a church. We talked, sang songs, a guy preached and then we went to lunch, where I had to go to the bathroom SO bad. It was a sketch place but they DID have a toilet, however it was disgusting. Dirty bathrooms and showers are one of my biggest fears in third world countries. God sure does have a sense of humor and I made sure to tell Him when I was attempting to use it. We then went to floating market which was really cool. Meghan and I happened upon a cage of 2 beagle puppies for sale. We instantly fell in love. We held them for about 20 minutes. If I lived here, I would definitely be taking home every dog I found. There is a ton. We then had dinner and later that night Meghan and I got full body massages. Haha, they were so cheap, but it got awkward!
Day 8:
Today was our day off! We went to church, Josh preached an awesome message about unity in the body of Christ. Then we went to JJ market which was awesome. Lots of walking. We went to another part of town to get something. We ended up finding a street vendor that sold fried chicken. It was a pretty funny sight, 4 Americans squeezed onto a cement platform eating friend chicken like it was going out of style. Us girls then went and got a foot massage which was AMAZING! Thailand has the BEST and cheapest massage places.
Day 9:
Today was amazing to say the least. We went to the womens prison. Meghan was to preach. She stayed up late preparing a sermon but by morning, she was unsure. We picked up the prison ministry team. While we were waiting for them Meghan went away to pray and came back later saying she wasn't preaching her prepared sermon, God told her no, and gave her the word "Healer". She said even though she had nothing prepared, she had a peace. On the way there we looked up verses that went along with God being a Healer. I then decided I needed to share something at the prison. Pat asked me earlier if I wanted to share something and I said no. Suddenly while finding verses with Meghan, I felt God telling me to speak to them. In the car ride there, one of the prison ministry volunteers briefed us on what to expect, saying many of the women were Christians. After she briefed us Meghan turned to me and said, "Lauren, God just told me 'These are My people' before Teewan told us that." I got goose bumps to say the least.While Meghan was preaching she got choked up and started to cry while explaining to the girls how much God actually loved them. She said He was screaming in her ear to tell them HOW MUCH He did. Many of the girls were crying by the end. God's presence was so evident, it was amazing. Only my God can bring prisoners to tears!
Day 10:
Today we went to the boys JDC, we performed a skit which I think went pretty well. Don't know if the boys understood that you cannot serve both Jesus and Buddha. They believe that all religions are the same and that Jesus was just a good guy. Many buddhists believe that.
Day 11:
Today we went and visited Rahab Ministries. The street is was on was littered with trashy bars and even worse were the bar names. We visited with them and was briefed on the ministry. We then made jewelry with some of them. When we left we prayer walked down the street they are on, which is the red light district of Thailand. So much sin is there and that ministry is right in the middle of it. It was a great example that us Christians need to be light in the midst of darknes.
Day 12:
Our last day :( We ended it well. We went to the IDC in the morning. God laid it on my heart the week before to sing worship songs with and for the prisoners. Everyone was kind of iffy about it but we decided we would do one song. When we got in, I decided we probably weren't going to sing because it was so loud and everyone was busy. Halfway through, someone started singing and then we all joined and sang joyful worship songs. Prisoners were crying and dancing. So many of us were singing that a lot of the prisoners started singing and leading some songs. It got so loud that the prison guard came over and told us we had to stop. The joy on their faces was unmistakeable. Jesus was amongst us and everyone could feel Him. It was truly amazing. Now I am on this African airline, it's dingy and outdated, I'm a little terrified but cannot wait to be back in Uganda!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Ready, Set...
16 days until I depart! I'm so excited! For those of you who do not know, on this next trip, I am heading out to Bangkok, Thailand with a team of 5 for 2 weeks working with students, ex prostitutes, transvestites, those who have a escaped from the sex salve industry and more. A wide array of people that I cannot wait to minister to. After the two weeks are over I am flying solo to Kampala, Uganda, my second home I feel like. I cannot wait to get back to the people I love! I am working with the same organization that I did a year and a half ago (has it seriously been that long?). God has also given me a clear vision to start a girls bible study at the local detention center. I will be in Uganda for about 3 months again. I will be gone a total of 3 months and 20 days. My last day of work is next week, and this Sunday is my last Sunday that I will be at church. My time here is coming to an end, which is exciting and also sad. I HATE saying goodbye to people I love and the comforts of home, but we as Christians are not meant to live "comfortable" lives and that is ok with me. Please pray for me and my team and that God will use us in mighty ways in Thailand to glorify Him and lead people out of bondage and into the loving arms of Christ. Pray also for me, that my solo trip will do the same, that I will get out of my comfort zone more and more and do the impossible which only Christ can do through me. Pray also that all my current needs will be taken care of. God has provided SO much and I am almost there!
Current needs:
$600 for the rest of my rent in Uganda
basic necessities: large thing of shampoo and conditioner, toothpaste, body wash, lotion, dryer sheets,beach towel, snacks, wet wipes, vitamins and probiotics, etc
Lauren
Current needs:
$600 for the rest of my rent in Uganda
basic necessities: large thing of shampoo and conditioner, toothpaste, body wash, lotion, dryer sheets,beach towel, snacks, wet wipes, vitamins and probiotics, etc
Lauren
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